Brothers in Crime
by Burning Ice Phoenix
Summary: When Romano doesn't approve of Ludwig dating Feliciano, he brings out the mafia. GerIta, Spamano


If you've been around the neighborhood long enough, you'd realize the Vargas household wasn't normal. And it wasn't the fact that the household was just made of two barely high school brothers. Feliciano and Romano Vargas had a bit of an air of mystery to them. They never seemed to be in much economic trouble either. The two weren't working, yet they seemed to have a never ending supply of money. And on top of that, people occasionally see one or both the brothers leave at night with some men in hats. A worried neighbor had asked about that in concern, but they just responded by saying that they were friends of theirs.

Tonight was just another normal usual night in the Vargas household until...

"Ve! Fratello! I've got a date tonight!" Feliciano announced to his older brother as he walked out of his room.

Romano looked up from munching his tomato and reading the newspaper to give him a shocked, "What?"

"I've got a date!" Feliciano repeated for his brother. "It's with that new student in my class! The one that's from Germany!"

Romano was still recovering when he heard it was the student from Germany. "Plibft-" Romano started hacking out pieces of tomato into his hand. "Cosa?" He demanded as he went to wash his hands. "Not with that potato bastard!"

Feliciano frowned. "He's not a potato bastard. He's actually a really nice guy and he's into dogs!"

"Dogs?" Romano said in a slightly disgusted voice. "Dogs?" He repeated and Feliciano nodded.

"He's good with them. He can practically be a dog whisperer!" Feliciano said with a voice full of enthusiasm to talk about his new boyfriend.

Romano let out an exhausted sigh. "Why didn't you just say that?" When Feliciano gave him a confused look, he added, "Chigi! Just forget it! Go get ready or something! It's your first date, right?" He said with a roll of eyes as he went to get his coat and hat.

"Ok, ve~ Oh, where are you going, Fratello?"

"To talk with some of the boys, don't worry about it. You have fun on your date." He said as he slammed the door shut, clearly still upset about this.

* * *

At a seemingly deserted part of the park, Romano was sitting on a bench with an annoyed expression as he waited for the people he called out to arrive. It didn't take long as a man walked out from some bushes, brushing dirt from his pants. A few more minutes and three more men joined them.

"Sir, we've got what you requested." One of them said as he glanced around before handing him a revolver.

Romano smirked. "Bene, let's go." He said standing up as one of the men spoke up. "Sir, may I ask what we're doing? You wouldn't normally use the revolver your late grandfather gave you."

Romano frowned and narrowed his eyes at the question. "Don't ask questions!" He hissed. "My father is just a phone call and a plane ride away."

"Y-Yes, sir!" The man quickly said and didn't say anymore.

* * *

"Oh ho~!" Gilbert said as he walked down the stairs of their house. "I see my younger brother is all dressed up today!" He smirked as he watched Ludwig fixing his tie in the mirror.

Ludwig flushed at his brother's teasing. "Bruder, don't say pointless things... It's just my first date with him..."

"Oh! So it's a date, uh-huh." Gilbert said as he sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. "I'm sure earlier today you were just saying that you were going out with your friend."

Ludwig let out a sigh as Gilbert flipped through the channels. "Feliciano Vargas, ok?" He said in defeat.

Gilbert looked up from the TV. "Wait, Vargas? As in _the_ Vargas?" He asked in alarm. When Ludwig nodded, Gilbert moved to the further end of the couch as if to stay away from his brother. "Wow... You've got guts, man." He said with a smirk as he turned the TV off again. Ludwig gave him a 'what' look as he finally finished his tie. "Have fun!" Gilbert told him as he ran back upstairs.

Ludwig shrugged and walked out the door.

* * *

As Ludwig finished locking up, he saw a figure by the gate. "Hello?" He said as he walked up to the figure.

"What? Chigi, I fell asleep!" The person mumbled as he turned to face Ludwig. "Do you know who I am?" He asked the German in a deep dark voice.

"...Romano Vargas?" Ludwig said as he remembered him from school.

"C-Chigi! G-Good guess!" Romano gritted his teeth as he glared up at Ludwig. "A-Anyways, I'm here to talk to you."

"...Ok?" Ludwig agreed uncertainly. This was, after all, the guy who tried to throw tomatoes at him every time they served it at lunch. He was starting to be worried that he needed to go back inside for a change of clothes and be late for his date.

"Dammit, be a bit more scared at the least!" Romano hissed at him.

"Why?" Ludwig wasn't afraid of him at the slightest. Only now and then did Romano's tomatoes hit its mark on him.

"B-Because... c...chigi! Augraaaah!" Romano let out a cross between a yell and a growl in annoyance. "You know what? Screw this! I'm just saying what I have to say!"

Ludwig nodded and waited for him to continue.

_Everything he does pisses me off..._ Romano growled in his mind. "I don't agree with you dating my brother." Ludwig was about to say something, but Romano managed to stare at him till he closed his mouth again. "So, the moment I find even one thing that upsets my brother..." He gave Ludwig a glare and didn't finish his sentence, certain that Ludwig would get the idea.

Ludwig bit his lip before grabbing Romano by the shoulders. "I completely understand how you feel!"

"Wha? You do?"

"I would also be very upset if someone hurt my brother, so don't worry, I won't ever, ever hurt Feliciano!"

Romano paled. He really didn't know of who he was and what the Vargas family could do? "No! No!" Romano said, taking a few steps back. "See this suit? Costs $1000. This fedora? Look familiar?" When Ludwig lacked the response Romano was looking for, he sighed and reached for his belt, pulling out his revolver. "How about this?"

This time, Ludwig stared back in shock.

"So I think I made my self clear, si?" Romano said with a smug smirk. "So, all throughout your date, I'll be watching you... If you make a single mistake... _chek_." Romano made a slicing motion across his neck. "Now, enjoy your date!" He said before walking off down the street.

* * *

"Ludwig~! Ludwig!" Feliciano jumped up and down at their meeting place, it was by a fountain in the middle of the town square. "Ve~ You're just on time!"

"Yea, s-sorry, I tried to get here earlier...But uh, something held me up." He said as he glanced around nervously. He didn't see anyone. "Ah, so what do you want to do?" He asked as he forced a smile.

"Veee!" Feliciano screeched. "Y-You're making a s-s-scary face, Ludwig!"

"H-Huh? I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean to!" Ludwig said as he glanced around just in time to see a man in a hat go back to reading the newspaper on a bench nearby. Oh, this was not good... "I didn't mean to scare you...I...Um..." Looking down at Feliciano, he gave him a giant bear hug. "I'm really, very sorry."

"Ve~ I understand Ludwig. You don't have to apologize so much..." Feliciano mumbled through the hug. "Besides, I like hugs, vee~" Feliciano said with a giggle as Ludwig released him.

Somewhere, behind a tree, Romano gagged. He really shouldn't have put a bug on his brother. He just heard the conversation as clear as day.

* * *

"I want to get some ice cream!" The Italian said and Ludwig agreed with a nod as they walked over to a street vender selling some at his cart.

"What taste do you want?" Ludwig asked.

"Cioccolato!"

"Alright, one Chocolate and one Vanilla please." He told the vender who gave them two ice cream with cones to them. "Er, that's $2.00-"

"Out on a date, kid? Its on me." The vender told him with a grin.

"R-Really? Danke."

Romano made a face from behind a building where he watched them buy the ice cream. "Can this get more clichéd?" He groaned.

"Feliciano! You got some on your jacket..." Ludwig said as he saw some ice cream drip onto the boy's jacket.

"Veee~" Feliciano cried out in distress. "Oh no! This is Romano's! He'll get mad at me!"

"What?" Romano hissed from his hiding place. He quickly looked out and saw that indeed, there was a rather large ice cream stain on his favorite jacket. "Chigi!" He screeched.

"Ve? What was that sound?"

"Er, well..." Ludwig glanced around just in time to see some one move within the shadows of a nearby alleyway. "Oh no..." He started feeling nervous again and he had nearly forgotten about being watched!

"Ve? Something wrong, Ludwig?"

"Nein! Nein... Uh, why don't we...um, go watch a movie or something?"

"Ok!" Feliciano agreed as he grabbed Ludwig's hand and leaned his head on the German's shoulder. "There's the new movie I saw a commercial for on TV. Let's go watch that one?" He suggested as he led them towards the movie theater.

"Yea... I, uh-" Did he just see a red light from the window of that building? "Uh..." He quickly let go of Feliciano's hand and the Italian boy looked up in confusion. "S-Sorry, I, uh, got some ice cream on my hand! Don't want to get your hand dirty too!" He lied nervously.

"Ve...Ok." Feliciano said as he walked over to the other the other side and held Ludwig's other hand. "This better?"

"Uh..." Ludwig didn't hear or see anything else from nearby. "Er, ok."

* * *

"Veee!" A fistful of popcorn flew into the air as Feliciano buried his face in Ludwig's shoulder. "I-Is the scary scene over? Is it? Is it?"

"Um...Yea, it is." The movie itself wasn't so scary. What was freaking him out even more was that the surrounding people watching the movie with them were all wearing fedoras.

Meanwhile, sitting with one of his mafia members, Romano was shaking and trembling in fear of the movie.

"Uh, sir? Do you perhaps want to step outside...?"

"No!" Romano yelled at him. "Chigi... I'm not scared at all! Not at all!"

* * *

Feliciano walked into the house humming a tune that was the theme song of the movie they watched. "Ve~ Fratello, my date with Ludwig was so much fun! I wish you could've came along with us!" He said as he hung the coat he had borrowed from Romano on a chair. "We went to get ice cream and watch a movie and- Ve! Fratello, what happened to your head?"

Romano paused from rubbing the bruise on his forehead and glared at his brother. "Nothing. Please continue."

"Er, ok... So after the movie we went to get pizza. It was really strange, actually. There was this really loud sound while we were eating and there was someone's voice who sounded really familiar-"

"Chigi! What did you do next?"

"After that, Ludwig walked me home and-" Romano's shifting around caught Feliciano's eye. "Er... Fratello, is that a cast on your other arm? ...And your leg?"

"Nothing! Go on!"

"So as we were walking, there was this weird rustling as we were talking. And it kept getting louder. I was scared, but Ludwig was there to keep me comforted! And then... It sounded like someone crashed. ...As if they fell of a tree? I hope whoever it was didn't hurt them self-"

"Chigi! I've had enough!" Romano exclaimed as he grabbed the crutch leaning by his chair and stood up. "I'm glad you had a good date! Good night, I'm going to bed! I've got school tomorrow!"

"Ve? Ok, Fratello! Buonanotte!"

* * *

"Chigi... I can't believe this..." Romano mumbled as he watched his brother and Ludwig act all friendly from a lunch table just a little away.

"Can't believe what?" A voice piped up from beside Romano.

"C-Chigi! Who's there?" Romano shrieked as he turned around to find Antonio smiling and waving at him. "Who the hell are you? Go away you bastard!"

"I'm Antonio! My friends aren't here today so its a bit lonely... You don't mind if I sit here, right?"

"Yes I do mind!" Romano said as he reached for his crutch to hit Antonio on the head.

"Yowch!" Antonio said as he rubbed the top of his head. "Aww~ Your pouting is so cute! What's your name?" He said as he reached out to hug him.

"Romano Vargas! Now let go of me!"

* * *

"Eh? Romano, where are you going? You finally got the cast off so I thought we could eat dinner together to celebrate." Feliciano said as he looked out from the kitchen.

"H-Huh? Oh, well..." Romano mumbled as he fixed his hair in the mirror. "I've got a meeting with this bastard."

"...Bastard?"

* * *

_Ding dong!_

"Coming!" Antonio said as he grabbed his coat before opening the door. "Lo siento~ I'm going out right now, can you come back another time?" He said as he closed the door behind him and stepped out with the stranger.

It was only after he had stepped out that he saw a boy similar to Romano, but dressed in a suit and a hat. "You're...?"

"...Ciao~"

* * *

"Romano~ Ve, welcome back~ Did you have fun on your date?" Feliciano asked as his brother entered the house.

"Eh, um, it was alright... But for some reason, Antonio was strangely jumpy- Feli? Why are you covered in dust...? And...your hair is wet? Wait! What is _that_ in your hair?" Romano said as he stared at the green slime in his brother's hair.

"Ve? Oh, uh...this...? Well, I uh, had problems with the sewer?"

"...Ok... Well, you should probably take a shower..."

"I was just about to. But, ve~, your boyfriend's kind of dumb, isn't he?"

Romano frowned. Sure Antonio was rather oblivious, but then again, dumb wasn't that far off his chart. "Why do you say that?"

"I had a talk with him. It took a while for him to get the topic of what I was saying..."

"Huh?" Romano gave him a confused look.

"Oh, nothing!" Feliciano said as he quickly shook his head. "Here, I still have some pasta if you want to eat!" Romano took a seat at the kitchen table as Feliciano filled up two plates of pasta.

And so, the Vargas household return to its normal days. As normal as two brothers who own the mafia could be.

* * *

Notes...

Fratello- Brother

Cosa- what

Si- yes

Cioccolato- Chocolate

Danke- Thank you

Buonanotte- Good night

Ciao- Hello

Nein- No

* * *

**De-Anon from the Kink Meme.**


End file.
